Yes, Virginia, Slashers Can Like Het Without Justifying Ridiculously But Not That We've Found Yet

by Lilac (@thefannish.org for email)

I've been thinking about this whole "queer het" thing that everyone's been gabbing about, and it's got me feeling kind of ranty. Fair warning: I'm going to get rambly and go off on tangents, so if you don't like that, bail now.

Okay, "queer het." It seems to be coming up a lot, specifically in relation to Battlestar Galactica, where it seems the most popular, interesting pairing is Lee/Kara.

So, as terminology, I can get it (even if I don't necessarily agree with it). You've got two characters, both with what are traditionally considered male characteristics, and yet one's male and one's female. It's not your traditional m/f romance, so it's "queer het."

I guess I can buy that. Like I said, I don't agree with it, because I think it's absolute fucking bullshit to claim that if a woman is strong and independent, she can ONLY be queer, because, um, how is that NOT insulting to straight women (those little weepy, schmoopy, babymaking, housecleaning stay-at-home emotional doormats). But if that's the terminology you're going to use to describe a different sort of m/f romance, well, whatever. Go for it.

But I don't see it being used so much as terminology as a value judgement. It's just more of the same old slash-is-better-than-het circular argument that you see so often in fandom, which, in its simplest form is boiled down to this: "Slash is better than het. Why? Because I read good slash. But why is it better than het? Because I read it, and I only read good stories. And I don't read het, so het must be bad."

Okay, I have two thoughts on that: First, Sturgeon's Law applies to slash too. Let me mention a few bad slash masterpieces: remember that one in Buffyfic where Angel, Spike and Xander all set up home and adopt a family? Or hey, how about the X-Files famous Mulder/Skinner epic, where Skinner takes care of poor, weak Mulder and gives him little collectibles? What about the N*Sync story where one of the boys is pregnant and gives himself an abortion with a coat hanger? And let's not forget the Lotrips famous macaroni and cheese fic, which, if it doesn't put you off of reading slashfic forever, you're certainly not going to ever want to open a box of Kraft dinner again. In other words, slash has just a high incidence of suckitude as het does.

Second, just because it's your *kink* doesn't make it good. I'm not trying to use "kink" in a judgemental way here. Your "kink" is just the thing that turns you on (emotionally, sexually, what have you), and is the thing you want to read. A bulletproof kink, to borrow a phrase, is something that you'll read everytime, if you can stomach the quality, to get that button of yours pushed. Some things I like to read in fic (but not, by any means, the *only* things I read): threesomes, and hurt/comfort. Preferrably, I'd like to read these in great fic all the time, but I've got some guilty pleasures, just like we all do - fics that push the button, even though I/we realize that they're not all that great.

So, slash may be your *kink* and that's fine. It's what pushes your buttons. No value judgement in that. But please, please, please, could we stop trying to pretend that every single hetfic written is a piece of crap? Because it's not. There's some great writers who write slash. I know, because I read them. But there's also some great writers who write het, and gen, too. I know because I read them as well.

And to get back to "queer het" (heh, finally). Like I said, it's not so much a terminology question, as a matter of "Well, if slashers are writing it and I'm reading it and I like slash, it can't be (ew) het. It must be something better, something less straight. It's (ta da!) queer het! Therefore, it's acceptable for me to read."

Again, more bullshit. I'm not sure where the idea came from that straight=bad, and since so many slashers are straight women, I have to say it's a pretty disheartening idea, filled with what looks like to me to be self-loathing. But you know? Het can be good, and well-written, and compelling to read. You don't have to be afraid of it. And you don't have to change it to something else to be able to read it.

And I have to say that I find it actually pretty fucking funny that in fandom, where so many people claim marginalization and isolation and persecution in real life (whether because of their sexual orientation, their geeki/nerdi/dorkiness, their physical and/or emotional problems, or a combination of all of these plus any other factors), that the same people, who were so excited to find fandom and refer to it as a place they can be accepted, and among people who understand them, these very same people are the ones who are so quick to marginalize and isolate others for being different and not as good. Yes, we're all unique snowflakes in fandom. Evidently some of us are just more unique and more special than others.**

If you want to use the "queer het" terminology to examine it on a different level - if you want, in other words, to get all meta on the text's ass, go for it. I might not agree with you, but I can understand it. But using it to make a judgement on straight people and straight sex and how unless it's "queer" it can't possibly be good? I'm sorry, but STFU, kthnxbai.

*Yes, I know that people say slash is a genre. But I don't see that. Romance is a genre. Action is a genre. Mystery, humor, adventure, etc. - those are genres. Slash can have any and all of those. Slash is about two men together, whether it's explicit or not. You may be attracted to the two characters and want to see them together, whatever way, and what you read has the keyword "slash". That's not a genre.

**This is actually a whole nother rant, so I'll let it go for now. *g*